I want to grow a short beard, but my facial hair is godamn retarded. Is there any way I can train it

Some places on my face will grow like 200x faster than others. And then there are some that will produce nothing more than peach fuzz on steroids. Double-u tee eff?

Treats and/or rolled up newspapers won't work, of course.

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I want to grow a short beard, but my facial hair is godamn retarded. Is there any way I can train it up?

I am in a facial-hair-sensitive-spot myself this morning----someone just pointed out to me that my moustache looked crooked!

Just let it grow however it will grow, and then even it out when it comes in to its best extent.

Does my moustache really look crooked???????

I want to grow a short beard, but my facial hair is godamn retarded. Is there any way I can train it up?

Where there is a will, there is a way. Did you see Jackass number two? 'The way' involves glue and shaved pubes.

I want to grow a short beard, but my facial hair is godamn retarded. Is there any way I can train it up?

You should totally shave your armpits and glue the hair to your face. Try it!! It looks so HOT!

I want to grow a short beard, but my facial hair is godamn retarded. Is there any way I can train it up?

Grow a soul patch. Mmmmmmm....

I want to grow a short beard, but my facial hair is godamn retarded. Is there any way I can train it up?

You're gonna need some patience.

Do you shave against the grain? If not...the next time you shave, after the strokes with the grain, shave against the grain. That may stimulate some growth.

Other than that, let the hair grow and use a trimmer to trim down the parts that do grow, so that they'll seem even with the slower parts.

Then, just wait it out. It gets frustrating after a week or so and you don't see much. But, just keep waiting...eventually, it'll come in.

I want to grow a short beard, but my facial hair is godamn retarded. Is there any way I can train it up?

What is it that causes hair growth on palms of hands? Oh yes. Treat your manhood to a little chin lovin.

I want to grow a short beard, but my facial hair is godamn retarded. Is there any way I can train it up?

Get some trimmers, and tough it out until it's all the length you want.

I feel your pain bro, my facial hair is white, red, and brown. It grows in different thicknesses, in different directions, and doesn't grow symmetrically on my face.

I want to grow a short beard, but my facial hair is godamn retarded. Is there any way I can train it up?

at least you have some hair. i'm a 53 year old man that has less facial hair than a 10 year old.

I want to grow a short beard, but my facial hair is godamn retarded. Is there any way I can train it up?

Beards can be trained by simply brushing them out with a comb.

I would recommend using the Nolte's comb (if you can find it). I hear it is somewhere with my missing remote control, 5 missing matches to my white sox, and my ball point pen.

Good ruck.

I want to grow a short beard, but my facial hair is godamn retarded. Is there any way I can train it up?

Beard therapy... I bet there is someone who offers it... I just bet....

Jack, no worries man, your mustache is straight as an arrow... it;s yer head that's crooked/

I want to grow a short beard, but my facial hair is godamn retarded. Is there any way I can train it up?

Brandon, please tell Jack I take it back...